It’s today been two years.
And then he went. The clasp of aunt in the terminal of airport vacated all the moment in my eyes as the final tears. Yet, it was going to be long-lasting memory that was going to remain as strength for rest going years.
It was 10th October 2012 when I heard my cousins were going to come back from Scotland to celebrate Dashain and Tihar, the biggest festival of Nepal. At first it seemed grey like “Who Cares?” But the miracle happened as we bonded up together. Much strong then we were as a child, much stronger than an existing relation we had with anyone.
Well, needless to say about the gifts I was going to get, the chocolates I was going to taste but that didn’t tempt me anytime when they arrived. Everything was like before. Ten days after following to their arrival we were gathering up in my sister’s house along with my Niece and Nephew, Brother-in-Law and more. It was my party time with my college friends the same day and I still remember that fantastic chilled beer and that rock-hard untamed dance with my close mates and yet to know friends. Close enough to get dizzy because of limitless amount of ABV.
The plan was to be in my sister’s house. But till 8 PM I was booming over the gravelled road enjoying the new breeze with unlimited thoughts rolling over my mind. The frequency of emotions rose due to fear of darkness and subconscious psyche. I got called for at least 7 times on my cell for not coming home till late. Then the other fear rose if my sister finds that I’m drunk. Well, they didn’t found out coz I was instinctive.
I entered to hall with big LCD screen of Sony Televisions. Greeted everyone with nasty attitude, kind of pretending you know. I had to because of the freaked out formalities. Well, I was close to a sleep when I saw a cute, little boy sleeping in the bed. Calm, Soft and mesmerizing. That was the first time I was seeing him and didn’t even know who he was. The night ended with a no-dream situation. Only a sound sleeps where the obscurity blew my mind off.
The new morning, fresh shower but was still the same me. Uff! How could I be so reckless that I didn’t get hold of any attire to change? Well, I still conveyed myself that I was good. My clothes are clean. The morning was going on well. I was too much keen to the spiritual things and counselling things. It was one of my passions and meanwhile it was my Brother-in-Law who was telling all of us about SWOT analysis and their importance. Well, but I was not too open with them. There was and is always an Ice between the relations we have, a family drama but more the Ice of them being the family with prosperity and money and us the in-between class.
I heard the boy for first time; it was magnificent English with a total British accent. Aww! That was so cute. I asked for what his name was but how could he trust to tell about himself to a complete stranger. He was annoying. He was crying too much but still there was an attachment with me. We were on swing, some were on bikes and I was still on the firm route of knowing about the little kid who spoke Nepali but in a British line of attack. He had too much chocolates and that made him sick, I just got that and everyone were planning to go for a movie that night in a shopping precinct and I was with no good shirts, pants and money in my pocket. Well, I managed to buy one but still I was uncomfortable. We were having lunch together in the grounded cosy table and that same naughty, crying, annoying little boy was sitting next to me. Everyone was eating well and all of a sudden he heaved whatever he ate. Then all were like “Yuck!!” when I carried him to the next hall, cleaned him and changed his clothes. This was the turnover. I took him to the terrace, asked him about how he was feeling and then took out first snap through the new camera I got.
We then became closer. He wouldn’t leave me and I would care him like I have ever cared anyone. Wherever we went, together, I used to carry him on my lap, telling him stories and I giving attention to his fairy tales. And I still didn’t know who actually he was. But I didn’t care as I always wished to have brother, whom I felt I got. Later I knew he was son of Tulsi Thapa and Pashupati Thapa, my treasured aunt and uncle. Well, that’s insane right? But yeah like I told I didn’t cared about them at all and I never wanted to. We were part of two worlds where I was with my own attitude and them with their own logics.
It was hard for me coz I was truly obsessed with those hungry emotions and affection Abhishek gave me. Oh right! His name is Abhishek. Furthermore it was hard for me to resist to not to go, knowing that my brother was just 1 kms away from where I lived. And when I had a quality time together, I couldn’t say but hoped the time stayed still. Damn! It moved on.
Then, my vacation begun. I was now free from a little responsibility I had in my restaurant. I couldn’t miss the chance of meeting everyone again, enjoying with all and me cooking sausage for all at Ajay’s home. Ajay is my friend. Sushil (Cousin), Anil (Brother above Abhishek) flying kites. Everything went adorable. This was what I waited for all festive season. An affection of the one whom I never expected from became my glorious moment of the year. Abhishek and I had become much closer. It was I know wrong to be obsessive but for me everything was fare. I would scold Apsara (My princess sister above Anil and Abhishek) when she used to shout at Abhishek and she use to tell that “You are spoiling him. Saugat Dai you are totally obsessed.” Why that phrase did hurtle me so much? That made me freaking malevolent like an unsophisticated guy.
My brother-in-law and all my uncles planned for the rafting. That was the new thing that I was going to enjoy with my cousins and everyone. Nashiba (My superstar sister) was exited so much. I was like in dilemma of going or not going because I had to stay in the restaurant to help mom and dad. My heart was divided into two, one part wanted to stay with my mom and dad and other part was glancing over to Abhishek and of course fun. Finally, mum and dad permitted me to go as it was Friday and this day is the day when we don’t get peak customer hours.
Throughout the whole journey Abhishek was with me. That journey was so amazing. Up and Downs over the hill, looking over the hills and turnings which was scary. I was really annoyed by my cousin Sushil but still I managed to control my anger. Sushma (My cousin) looked so funny when she slept in the van. The way was so messed up! We went to the destination, singing and dancing and fighting for the space in the van and an anxious sleep.
Guide divided us to the 2 groups. One was ours, the younger ones and one with oldies. The river Trishuli known as a violent river of Nepal was the river we were going to raft up in. We all were putting on our gears and Abhishek came near me and told that he was going to sit with me else he wasn’t going to raft. I told him that guides were managing them to raft on the small river. He told over and over and over that he was going to stay with me. But later I shouted No! He got disappointed.
Later we were given a lecture on how we were going to act as per his command and instruction. We went to raft and surprisingly Abhishek was placed right next to me. I thought they were going to raft on Small River aside but the small they meant was the same river we were rafting on and I was now cautious about the safety of Abhishek more than mine. I told him to make a grip and the guide also helped every one of us to lock our feet properly so that we won’t slip off. Abhishek told me one thing before we began rafting. He said “See! I told you that we were going to raft together”. I told him sorry for being rude. He smiled childishly, his awesome smile at his 7th year of life.
We enjoyed a lot and Abhishek and my niece Saphal were dropped in the middle of the adventure because it was now turn for rapids that could be dangerous for the kids. They went. The journey continued and we went through falls and waves. The strongest thing I did was I got down in the river and felt its coolness. Anil, Nashiba, Apsara, Sushil, Sushma everyone were in water. Wow! That was interesting. We then completed our adventure. Ate awesome food and pickle and wine in the hotel and got our self ready to get back home. But the plan was to stay at Sanga, where the world’s tallest statue of lord Shiva lies. There was a resort and we were staying there for a night.
We were again in the same bus, everyone telling about the experiences. I was feeling tired and so was Abhishek. He was in my lap and talking about his school and friends and studies. He would answer me and he would ask me an unruffled questions. I would answer that. We laughed and enjoyed a lot. He was 7 by his age but he reflected the talks of an adult. They were like a hymn and he was so natural. In the middle of the way I got banged by the head of Abhishek and that literally gave a pain and same with Abhishek but he turned back and cared my pain by his little hands asking “Dukhyo” which means “Did that hurt?” in Nepali. I replied no and he hugged me swiftly. We had to get on to other vehicle from Kathmandu to reach our destination, Sanga and there I and Abhi were separated to one another. We travelled for distance. We reached Sanga and I found Abhishek crying so much in his dad arms. I ran and asked what happened and Pashupati uncle told that he was crying without any reason. The room was then booked where I directly went to room where Abhishek was. He was sitting with me happily. He stopped crying but suddenly my brother-in law came and told my room was other. Abhishek cried again and finally Abhishek won. I was going to be with him in the night. We had dinner together, we roamed around together and we slept together. In that cherished fun we forgot the reality that they weren’t going to be with us forever. It had been used to getting hit by Apsara, getting so much awesome business talks with Anil and the enthral moments that I spent with my best brother in the Universe. Between those beautiful days I never missed a chance to expose my affection that I had with my brother. I went to sleepover at aunts home where Abhi slept in my arms and aunt took him assuming “ I was bothered” but I couldn’t even dare telling that I loved it when he felt comfortable on my arms and began dreaming. I was just too much into the hoarfrost and stance I had.
Finally, it was 21st November, Wednesday. The last day they were going to be in Nepal. The next day was going to be a day that was going to bring a lot of change in our relation. We all were gathered in Sushma’s house and I was somewhere collapsed beneath the big sky, gallant stars and wondering clouds. I was seeing my brother for the final night that time. It itself was making me too much emotional. I loved him too much. I was in terrace from where I saw Sushma, Alisha, Anika, Apsara, Nashiba, Sophin crying together and being serious about 21st December 2012, when everyone thought that the world was going to end. I saw my brother running in the terrace, happy and childish plays, innocent and loving. Abhishek was really the factor that changed my world and still is the one whom I love the most. Everyone planned to go to Rajkumar Dais home and we went there. I carried Abhishek in the way and unknowingly I was falling tears and Abhishek again today cleared up the tears and told “I won’t forget you!” He is such a child who knows how to react with the situation. I was making plans of calling them every week so that I will be memorized (Well that was crazy I know). I left them late and came back to my room. I didn’t sleep much. Woke up around 4 AM and ran towards Aunts home. I got everything was packed up. Abhishek was telling me about what made us so close. He was happy that he was going. I had to look happy. We snapped the final picture. Anil, I and Abhishek helped to carry out the luggage inside the car. Everyone was crying. I cried too as I think I am the most emotional guy in the world. Actually I have both characters, Rigid when I should be and Emotional when situation makes me so. I cried like no one saw. My tears and emotions sustained in my throat giving back immortal pain. Anil was the one who cried first. He actually did. I hugged him and I dropped one drop tear and then we were all ready to go at Airport.
In the car, everything I felt and flashed was about the fun we had but Abhishek mostly. Everything flashed as a movie, a real movie where my real dreams came true, where I got a brother whom I always wanted in my life. I am proud I have a family, a big family. I cried a lot that Thursday, 22nd November 2012. More the airport was near; the more troublesome it would be for me. Abhishek was frequently watching me but he was helpless to do anything. Finally we reached airport, got the luggage out and some started crying again. I was louder one. I took the blessings and did final Namaste to everyone. I hugged Tulsi aunt tightly. Told Apsara to hit me hard for final time, gave my brother a final hug. I was and I am happy everyday to get the biggest bequest I earned. Gift I am never going to get in my entire life. An endowment which can’t be replaced by anyone. And then he went.
But the story doesn’t end here!